


The regret of my life

by Utopian_Namjoon



Category: Kpop - Fandom, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21720802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utopian_Namjoon/pseuds/Utopian_Namjoon
Summary: Yoongi runs into someone that leads him to question what if things went differently.
Relationships: Min Yoongi | Suga & Reader, Min Yoongi | Suga/Reader
Kudos: 10





	The regret of my life

**Author's Note:**

> First person fic.  
> This was requested on my tumblr utopiannamjoon

His POV:

It was a crisp Thursday morning, the blue sky filled with puffy clouds when I was making my way to my studio - and of course making a small detour by my favorite coffee shop. An unhealthy habit of mine, taking coffee to go sometimes with a pastry rather than eating breakfast at home. I keep telling myself it’s better that way than eating nothing at all.

I turn the corner and open the door to my favorite place. The dark smell of freshly ground coffee invaded my nostrils, and I take a deep breath of that scent, savoring it as it’s my favorite thing in the world.

I got my coffee from the nice barista and was ready to head out but my eyes got caught on something, or rather, someone.

“Yoongi?” You asked with a surprised smile, looking at me and surely wondering the same thing as I was; are they who I think they are?

My jaw dropped from disbelief. I haven’t seen you since university and we graduated ages ago. You’re glowing, you’re still the same teenager I’ve loved through high school and uni.

“Is it really you? Tell me I’m dreaming.” I grinned and sat across from you, being too eager to even ask your permission or if it was taken for someone. My heart jumped seeing you after this long, after all we were so close all those years ago.

“How have you been?” I asked as soon as my butt made contact with the seat. I set my elbows on the table and leaned closer, sucking in every detail of your face and voice like it was the fuel that kept me going. You’ve changed, you’ve matured, but you’re as beautiful as ever.

“I’ve been well.” You giggled at my erratic behavior and lifted up your left hand, “I’m married,” You showed off your ring.

My eyes shot wider than I wanted them to when I looked at the two rings on your finger, they were astonishing and definitely not cheap. An unfamiliar feeling set in my heart but I kept it a secret from anyone around me. I feigned a smile and congratulated you,

“I’m so happy for you!” I beamed through the uncertainty that kept creeping in. ”Who is he? Lucky fellow.”

“Actually you introduced us. Jimin -”

“Jimin?” I interrupted you, though I didn’t mean to. I coughed and calmed myself down. “You’re married to Park Jimin?” I asked with the friendliest smile I found from the back of my mind.

”Yeah…” You trailed off, finding it humorous that I got tongue twisted after so long. You shook your head and your smile grew bigger, ”We only got talking after you broke up with me.” You explained, ”Jimin just wanted to check up on me and it just rolled from there.”

”If I’m honest I think I forgot about him - don’t tell him I said that!” I quipped, leaning back on the chair but immediately regretted my words. I’m sure you saw the panic flash in my eyes but for my sake you held back your reaction. Back in the day I could say anything and everything on my mind but not anymore, we’re strangers for all I know.

You laughed at my mishap just like you always did, making me feel like there wasn’t a years gap since we last saw each other. Hearing the small giggles from your mouth bloomed a warm and comfortable feeling in my heart, making my lips rise up. I’ve been sitting opposite of you only for minutes yet I felt like I’ve reached home.

”So, what about you?” You asked with a sparkle in those eyes of yours that kept running up and down on my outfit. I was dressed like a man with a purpose, completely different than I what I used to wear. Maybe you were wondering if I reached what I wanted and if the goals I set for myself were for me to reach.

”I’m a producer now,” I grinned, with my eyes glowing from the proudness I held within my heart. ”I have my own studio down the street.”

”I’m so proud of you,” You squealed and squeezed your small hands tightly together to contain your excitement for me. It makes me feel warm that you still have that habit. ”That’s what you’ve always wanted.”

”I was just heading up there but I wanted to get a cup of coffee to start off my day right.”

”Oh I’m sorry to interrupt you.” You said with a smile but I knew you weren’t sorry. You loved every second of our conversation, I could tell, that’s how you used to watch me in my small room in uni while I showed you my tracks - with the utmost adoration. Anyhow you stood up and playfully you smacked your hands on the table as a que for me to walk you outside.

”No, not at all -” I scoffed and got up too but my eyes trained at the bump on your stomach.

You’re pregnant.

I walked with you for a while whilst talking about this and that but I can’t remember it in detail, since we left the cafe my mind was a blur. I felt like something I loved was taken from me with the most violent manner.

I went to work, I got out of work, I went home.

I don’t have words to describe the feeling - or the lack thereof. Somehow my chest is empty and my tummy dropped below ground. I feel a spike of jealousy for Jimin, having caught you in his loving arms though you should be in mine, cradling up to me with our child that will now never exist. Why do I feel like someone unfairly took something I loved even though it’s my fault that you’re not mine?

I never seemed to think about what would happen when I broke up with you. I guess it was obvious for me that we would end up together after breaking up to focus on my career but I forgot you wouldn’t put your life on hold for me, how come I was so naive. I couldn’t ask you for that.

I’m standing in my living room with my shoes and jacket still on, wondering what if. I keep looking around with an empty mind. For what? I could barely keep my mind off of you at work but now at home, without duties you’re all that my mind is filled with - I had no distractions. The tears won’t stop escaping my eyes and dropping down my chin, I’m not hysterical, I’m broken. I can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if I chose you, the love of my life, over my career.


End file.
